7 subtle signs he want you back but won't admit it (2022)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

If you’ve broken up with someone you didn’t want to break up with, it’s inevitable that you’ll want them back.

Over time, that feeling will probably fade, especially if you never see or hear from him.

But if he does contact you, asks about you, or simply talks about you to other people, then there’s a good chance he knows he’s made a mistake and wants you back.

There’s also a chance he’s confused, missing sex, or just deliberately leading you on. How can you tell which one it is?

Here are 9 signs that he actually does want you back and doesn’t want to admit it.

1. He seems genuinely upset about the breakup

Everyone gets upset about breakups, even if they know it’s what they want and need.

It’s hard to say goodbye and breakups bring up big emotions that are difficult to deal with, both for the person who ended the relationship and the one who’s been dumped.

Some people even fall into clinical depression.

But if he continues to seem hurt for weeks, months, or perhaps even longer then there’s a good chance he wants you back.

The hurt that’s there when you first break up with someone tends to fade for people who know it was the right thing.

For those who don’t or who are at least starting to have doubts, the hurt and upset can actually increase.

Look out for him getting in touch after a period of no contact (more on that in a minute), or you hearing from friends that he’s not in a good place. If you’re still in the first few weeks, give it time and see if he’s still hurt a little further down the line.

If you’re already further on than that, take it as a sign.

2. A highly intuitive advisor confirms it

The signs I’m revealing in this article will give you a good idea about whether he wants you back but won’t admit it.

But could you get even more clarity by speaking to a professionally gifted advisor?

Clearly, you have to find someone you can trust. With so many fake “experts” out there, it’s important to have a pretty good BS detector.

After going through a messy break up, I recently tried Psychic Source. They provided me with the guidance I needed in life, including who I am meant to be with.

I was actually blown away by how kind, caring, and knowledgeable they were.

Click here to get your own love reading.

A genuinely gifted advisor can not only tell you about where things stand with him, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.

(Video) 13 Signs Your EX Wants You Back but Won’t Admit It

3. He stays in touch…even when you’re cold with him

If you were dumped, you probably had one of these two reactions: trying to keep in touch as much as possible, hoping he’d come round; or going cold on him, ending contact him and telling him never to contact you.

If you did the second one, well done. It’s hard but it was the right way to respond and usually the only way you’ll get over the hurt.

Most of the time, when you do that, your ex will simply slink away, with maybe a very occasional text or Facebook comment.

But what if he doesn’t? What if, despite the fact you never contact him and are cold with him when he contacts you, he keeps on getting in touch?

That’s a pretty clear sign that he’s not over you and he’d like to give things another try.

You’re obviously being cold to him for a reason but this doesn’t mean you don’t want him back as well.

What you need now is clever psychology.

Because simply laying out logical reasons to get together will never work. It’s human nature to always think of a counter-argument, especially with emotions running high after a break up.

Relationship expert Brad Browning can help with this.

Brad is a best selling author and has helped hundreds of people get back with their ex via is extremely popular YouTube channel.

He’s just released a new free video that will give you all the tips you need to get back with your ex.

Watch this excellent video here.

4. He gets back in touch after a long break

You’re probably wondering will he ever come back.

They say time heals. Sometimes, though, time simply serves to remind us that we haven’t healed. If your ex contacts you after a long period of no contact, that’s a good sign that he might be thinking he’s made a mistake.

Maybe you broke up in a blazing row and everything just seemed to happen overnight, without either of you really being able to think about what was happening.

Or perhaps there were circumstances – like work stress, a house move or a bereavement – that meant you drifted apart without really meaning to.

It could just be that the reasons you split up were more about the things going on around you than your compatibility as a couple.

You knew this already, but he wouldn’t accept it. Now, it seems, he’s beginning to see it like you do.

It does pay, though, to tread carefully. Don’t respond to him straight away, but give yourself some thinking space.

If you struggled to deal with stress as a couple before, what’s changed? If you get back together, you’re going to need a strategy for coping when life inevitably brings more stress (and it will).

5. He engineers ways to see you

If you broke up, but he somehow seems to keep ending up in the same places as you, maybe that’s not a coincidence.

If he just happens to be at the gym at the same time as you always go, or he’s in your favourite bar every Saturday night, or he just happens to turn up at every single mutual friend’s gathering you go to…ask yourself why.

(Video) 🥺 16 Signs Your EX Wants You Back But Won't Admit It.

Remember, you were together for months or years: he knows where you go and who you hang out with.

So if he keeps popping up, it’s because he wants to see you. It might be a deliberate strategy to try and get you back, or it might just be that he misses you and wants to see you. Either way, he’s definitely showing some regret.

6. When you do see him, he’s awkward with you

If your ex was one of those who was a bit awkward and nervous when you first got together, because he liked you so much, then he’s bound to be like that now if he wants you back.

Think back to your early dates and look for signs that he’s acting the same now as he did then. If he is, then it’s a fairly sure bet that he’s feeling the same way now as he did back then.

He might not even have admitted this to himself yet. It can happen in the same way as it does when you first meet someone who you know you like, but can’t admit to liking yet.

It can be pretty endearing, that awkwardness and nervousness. It might put you, mentally, straight back to the beginning of your relationship.

That can be a great feeling, but remember that things have changed, and time has passed and you won’t be able to go back to exactly how things were back then.

And that’s not a bad thing, because you split up. If things are going to work out this time, then you need to make them different.

7. He asks mutual friends how you are

If you have mutual friends, they can be a useful source of information about your ex and how he might be feeling right now. If they start telling you that he’s been asking after you, then that’s one of the strongest signs there is that he wants you back and can’t admit it.

Those mutual friends should also have both of your best interests at heart, and they’ve probably heard both of your sides of the story.

So they’re in a great place to be able to talk to you both about what’s happening. If they thought he really was done with you, they probably wouldn’t be telling you that he was talking about you.

If your friends do start telling you that he’s been asking about you, ask them if they can do a bit more digging for you.

See if they can get him to open up so you know exactly where you stand before you talk to him about it.

8. He drunk calls you

We’ve all drunk called an ex, haven’t we? Everyone does it sometimes, but it can often mean something much more than just ‘he was drunk’.

Drunk calling is a sure sign that he’s thinking about you and, when his guard is down, he just can’t help calling you.

Resisting picking up the phone is easy when you’re sober, but much harder when you’re not.

Of course, it could just be a booty call, but you’ll know when you answer whether it is or not pretty quickly.

If it’s obvious he’s drunk and he just wants to chat or ask you how you’re doing, then it’s likely that he’s thinking about you and regretting leaving you.

It probably pays to be a bit wary here. Sometimes, drunk people say things they regret saying in the morning, after all.

But you know your ex, and you know if that’s his style or not. If it’s not, then you could be in with a good chance of mending your relationship.

If you’re confident he wants you back, what then? If he’s struggling to admit it to you, he might also be struggling to admit it to himself.

9. He still protects you

Although you guys may not still be together, does he still display protective behavior towards you?

(Video) These 6 Subtle Signs Tell He Cheated On You Even Though He Won’t Admit It

For instance, is your safety and wellbeing still his priority? Does he make an effort to protect you against things that can harm you—from the little things in life to the big threats?

These are all excellent signs that he wants you back, even if he’s not ready to admit it yet.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct. This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

A guy wants to feel like he’s your protector and that you genuinely respect him for doing this.

If these instincts are still intact then he probably wants to rekindle things with you.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

Although you may not need a hero, a man is compelled to be one. And if you want him to fall in love with you, then you have to let him.

If you want to get back with him too, then there are ways you can amplify the hero instinct and use it to your advantage. There are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.

To learn more about this, check out this free video by James Bauer. He’s the relationship expert who first discovered this instinct.

I don’t usually recommend videos about new concepts in psychology. But I think the hero instinct is a fascinating take on what drives men romantically.

Here’s a link to the video again.

The first thing to ask yourself is…do I actually want this?

When you’ve been in the throes of a painful breakup, it’s hard to focus on anything other than getting that person back, but it is important that you do.

If you think your ex wants you back and you’re already getting excited at the prospect of dating again, take a step back for a moment.

The thought of intimate dinner dates, cozy evenings in, and lazy morning sex are certainly appealing. It would be so good to have someone around when you need them, someone there to talk through your day at work, cook you dinner and bring you coffee in bed.

Those things are lovely to have, but you could have them from someone else. You don’t have to wave goodbye to all those lovely coupley things forever, just because you’re not with this guy.

It’s time to be brutally honest with yourself about why you broke up. Did you have doubts about his feelings for you or your feelings for him?

Were there things you consistently clashed over? Did you often wonder if you really had a future together?

If any of those things were true, is there something that you think will make things different this time? If not, then do you really want this?

It’s a tough question to work through, but it is important. Because going through a breakup a second time will be even harder than the first, even if you’re the one who chooses to leave next time.

And if he’s the one who chooses to go? Then you’ll be devastated all over again.

(Video) 7 Subtle Signs He Genuinely Likes You (Don't Miss #7)

This isn’t to say, of course, that you can’t make things work differently next time. If you both love each other and you share similar values and life goals, then the chances that you can make a successful go of things are high.

There are certain things that successful couples usually share their dreams and plans and work towards them together.

Couples who end up splitting often do so because they don’t want the same things out of life.

If you’re confident that you do, and that you can work to fix the problems that led to you breaking up, then it’s time to go for it.

How to get him back

If you want to get back with your ex, then you need a plan to get him back.

Simply waiting around for him to come to the realization that “I’ve made a huge mistake and need her back” isn’t always going to work. You need to be proactive in actually reversing the break up.

True love is extremely hard to find and if you’re still in love with him (or at least you can see yourself falling in love with him down the track), then your best option is to get back together.

But how do you go about it?

Whenever someone asks me for advice on getting back with their ex, I always tell them to check out relationship coach Brad Browning.

He runs a popular YouTube channel with around half a million subscribers, where he dispenses practical advice on how to reverse break ups. He’s also recently published a best-selling book which provides the most practical ‘blueprint’ for doing this that I’ve come across.

Although there are a lot of self proclaimed “gurus” who claim to specialize in this area, Brad is the most authentic I’ve come across. He genuinely wants to help you get back with your ex.

I first learned about Brad Browning after watching one of his videos. And I’ve since read his book from cover to cover.

If you want to get your ex back, check out his free online video here. Brad gives away some free tips you can use immediately to win him over.

A few months ago I read an eye-opening claim from a relationship psychologist: that over 90% of all relationships can be salvaged. While you may think that number is unreasonably high, I tend to think it’s on the money.

Over the past few years, I’ve been in contact with countless Ideapod readers who are happily back with their ex. And getting back together was the best thing they did.

These couples broke up for relatively trivial reasons or because of circumstances out of their control. None of their relationships were toxic.

So if your relationship fits that description, then you need to get to work right now to repair your relationship. And I believe Brad’s advice will be invaluable to you.

Here’s a link to Brad’s free video again. If you want an actual plan to get back with your ex, then Brad Browning will give you one.

If you’ve been dumped, you’ll have been badly hurt. It’s hard to get over that and even harder to process your feelings if it seems that your ex might actually have changed his mind.

If your ex:

  • Is still upset about the breakup months down the line.
  • Keeps talking to you even if you give him the cold shoulder.
  • Gets in touch after a long time of not speaking.
  • Engineers ways to see you.
  • Is awkward with you when you do see him.
  • Asks after you with mutual friends.
  • Drunk calls you.

Then there’s a good chance he’s thinking he made a mistake.

If this happens, think carefully.

(Video) 7 Subtle Signs He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend

Decide if you really want to get back together and how you’ll get over the things that broke you up. If you’re confident you can, take it slow, meet up casually and see what happens.

There’ll be a lot of talking to do and probably some tears, but the chances are that you’ll make it if you’re able to be honest with each other.

FAQs

How do you know if your ex wants you back but won't admit it? ›

Another subtle sign that your ex might want you back is if she pays a lot of attention to your social media. For example, if she wants you back but won't admit it, she will start keeping tabs on you and checking out things that you do. This can include monitoring all of your social media accounts.

How do you know if he still wants to be with you? ›

Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend/Ex-Husband Still Loves You
  • He Still Actively Follows You On Social Media. ...
  • He Tries To Contact You Every Now And Then. ...
  • And When You Respond, He Tries To Keep The Conversation Going. ...
  • He Playfully Teases You. ...
  • He Gets Nostalgic. ...
  • He Sends You Pictures Of Things That Remind Him Of You.
20 Sept 2022

What are the signs that he's not into you? ›

How To Recognize The Signs He's Not That Into You
  • He Keeps His Options Open.
  • He Doesn't Return Your Calls Quickly.
  • He Seems Worried That You'll Look at His Computer or Cell Phone.
  • He Doesn't Ask Many Questions About You.
  • He Doesn't Share Much Information About Himself.
  • He Only Meets You at Odd Times of The Day.
7 Sept 2022

How do you know if he secretly wants you back? ›

9 subtle signs he wants you back but won't admit it
  • He seems genuinely upset about the breakup. ...
  • A highly intuitive advisor confirms it. ...
  • He stays in touch…even when you're cold with him. ...
  • He gets back in touch after a long break. ...
  • He engineers ways to see you. ...
  • When you do see him, he's awkward with you.
24 Feb 2020

How do you tell if your ex is keeping you as a backup? ›

Read on to learn more about what those are and how you can tell if your ex is keeping you as an option.
  1. 1) They contact you more often than you contact them. ...
  2. 3) They are keeping your relationship secret. ...
  3. 4) They are using you as a 'willing back-up' for their other things.
13 Apr 2022

How do you tell if a guy wants you to leave him alone? ›

14 Signs He Wants You to Leave Him Alone (with tips)
  1. A deep sense of disconnection. ...
  2. You're always initiating conversations. ...
  3. He tells you directly. ...
  4. He ignores texts/calls from you. ...
  5. Lack of vulnerability (from his end) ...
  6. Lack of sexual intimacy. ...
  7. He doesn't desire to be physically around you. ...
  8. You're excluded from his activities.
17 May 2022

How long does it take a guy to realize he wants you back? ›

According to the experts, it will take between two to four months before he starts feeling lonely. He'll be doing everything possible to block out his emotions during this time. But once he surrenders to them, he'll start missing you.

How do you know if a man wants you to chase him? ›

Here are 14 definite signs a guy wants you to chase him:
  • He doesn't make any effort towards you. ...
  • He doesn't give a specific type of attention. ...
  • He tells you how he feels but then leans back. ...
  • One day he cares but the other day he's distant. ...
  • He shows how much 'desirable' he is. ...
  • He likes you but hasn't made the first move yet.
22 Feb 2022

How do you know if a guy is keeping you as a backup? ›

15 Signs He Only Sees You As His Backup Plan And Never His Game Plan
  • He only makes plans when it's convenient for him.
  • He'll only text when he wants to.
  • When he does text, he takes his time responding.
  • He rarely includes you with his friends.
  • He's an opportunist; he'll ditch plans with you if a better one arises.
11 Apr 2017

How do you know someone is coming back to you? ›

Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back
  • 1 They leave your number unblocked.
  • 2 They're sad weeks after the breakup.
  • 3 They're active on your social media.
  • 4 They haven't returned your things.
  • 5 They keep in touch with your friends and family.
  • 6 They initiate contact regularly.
  • 7 They reminisce about the past.
6 Sept 2022

How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you? ›

If a guy is confused about his feelings for you, he will be inconsistent and not as reliable as someone who is into you fully. Any inconsistencies in texting are a sign he is confused and may not be ready for commitment. One day, he texts you all day, and the next day, he is leaving you unread.

How do I know if my ex is still thinking about me? ›

If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you, whether, via an unfriend or a straight block, it might mean that they miss you.

How do you know when your ex is truly done with you? ›

30 Signs Your Ex Is Over You and Not Pretending!
  • They don't call you anymore. ...
  • They are seeing someone new. ...
  • They don't want to hang out. ...
  • They can be in the same room with you without feeling sad. ...
  • They stop flirting. ...
  • They try to set you up with someone else. ...
  • They return your stuff. ...
  • They ask for their stuff back.
1 Mar 2022

When should you leave a man? ›

Here, experts explain some of the signs that indicate it may be time to let go:
  1. Your needs aren't being met.
  2. You're seeking those needs from others.
  3. You're scared to ask for more from your partner.
  4. Your friends and family don't support your relationship.
  5. You feel obligated to stay with your partner.
27 Aug 2018

How do you know if a guy is only with you because he's lonely? ›

The 5 Signs He's Only Into You Because He's Lonely
  • He never seems to have any other plans. A tell-tale sign of a lonely guy is if he's always free. ...
  • He says he's looking for anything serious. ...
  • He's quick to drop you if better plans come up. ...
  • He talks about himself way too much. ...
  • He's still hung up on his ex.
7 Jun 2017

Will leaving him alone bring him back? ›

Many women wonder will he come back if I leave him alone? The answer is usually yes because when you leave him alone, he will have a more positive outlook on the relationship again because you are showing the following traits.

How do you know if he misses you without contact? ›

15 signs he is missing you during no-contact
  • Everyone around him knows he is depressed. This may not mean a lot to you, except when you are looking at a guy who used to be outspoken and boisterous. ...
  • He now spends much time online. ...
  • He refrains from dating for a long time. ...
  • He tries “too hard” to flirt with other girls.
29 Apr 2022

How long does it take a guy to regret letting you go? ›

The answer is different for everyone, but many men will experience a pang of regret within about a month to six weeks after breaking up with you. Dumper's remorse, as I call it, is very real. It happens to pretty much everyone who ever dumps a person.

How long does it take for a guy to forget you? ›

According to the study and the 2,000 people they surveyed, it takes 13.5 weeks, which is a little over three months, to start dating someone else after a breakup; but like really dating them, properly, and not because they're just trying to fill a void.

When should you not chase a man? ›

Whatever the outcome is, you are better for it.
  • He starts to miss you.
  • He values you.
  • He respects you and chases you instead.
  • You get more you-time.
  • Other men have a chance with you.
  • An end to the bad dates.
  • You have time for other people.
  • Your life seems more interesting.
5 Jul 2022

How can I make him chase me again? ›

Make Him Chase You Again Now! - How to Become Irresistible Today

How do you know if a guy likes you but is scared? ›

15 Signs A Guy Is Scared Of His Feelings For You
  • You catch him staring at you. ...
  • You keep running into each other. ...
  • He acts differently when you're around. ...
  • He wants to be your hero. ...
  • He often jokes that he wants to date you. ...
  • He's nervous when you're around. ...
  • He remembers the smallest of details. ...
  • His mood fluctuates a lot around you.
26 Aug 2022

How do you tell if your ex still has feelings for you but is hiding it? ›

Top Signs Your Ex Still Has Feelings for You
  1. They Try to Know About You from Your Mutual Friends. ...
  2. They Haven't Removed You from Their Social Media. ...
  3. They Still Get Jealous. ...
  4. They Keep Talking About the Past. ...
  5. They Keep Inviting You Out. ...
  6. They Want to Know About Your Love Life. ...
  7. They are Far away from Following the No-Contact Rule.
12 May 2022

How do you know when your ex is truly done with you? ›

When your ex says you are better off apart, they truly are done with the relationship. They recognize how much better they feel now that you are not together anymore and they have no intention of going back to the place that didn't bring out their best self.

How do I know my ex is not over me? ›

Signs to look out for:
  • They're giving mixed signals.
  • They blame you for the breakup.
  • They're angry with you.
  • They're keeping in touch with you.
  • They flirt with you.
  • They're bringing up memories.
  • You still have some of their things.
  • They're sabotaging you.
27 Jun 2021

How do you make your ex think about you constantly? ›

7 Ways To Make Your Ex Think About You Constantly - YouTube

How do you tell if a guy wants you to leave him alone? ›

14 Signs He Wants You to Leave Him Alone (with tips)
  1. A deep sense of disconnection. ...
  2. You're always initiating conversations. ...
  3. He tells you directly. ...
  4. He ignores texts/calls from you. ...
  5. Lack of vulnerability (from his end) ...
  6. Lack of sexual intimacy. ...
  7. He doesn't desire to be physically around you. ...
  8. You're excluded from his activities.
17 May 2022

How do I know it's really over? ›

One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy ​relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.

How do I get him to admit his feelings? ›

Be straightforward and come to the point and make him realise that he can be honest with you and express his feelings for you without being judged or critiqued. There are many body language signs like his gaze, his way of talking to you and more such things that can help you know how he feels for you.

How do you know if a guy is playing with your feelings? ›

How to Know if a Guy is Playing with Your Feelings?
  • Mood swings. He has two sides to him. ...
  • He only shows up when you're needed. ...
  • You do things according to his time. ...
  • No deep conversations. ...
  • Not interested in your life. ...
  • He's hiding you. ...
  • He doesn't want you to ask questions about him. ...
  • He doesn't want you to meet his friends.
2 Jun 2022

Why would a man hide his relationship? ›

When someone hides their relationship, often it's because they want to appear available in the dating pool. Now it can be specifically for one person he is still not over or because he likes the attention from opposite sex.

Videos

1. 3 SNEAKY Signs That He's Emotionally Attached To You But Won't Admit It!
(Mindful Attraction 2.0)
2. 5 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back But Is Scared
(Clay Andrews)
3. 7 Signs Your EX Wants You Back
(Psych2Go)
4. 7 Subtle Signs He Genuinely Likes You (Don’t Miss #7) (Matthew Hussey)
(Matthew Hussey)
5. 11 Proven Signs Your Ex Wants You Back But Won't admit it
(Psychology Insider)
6. 15 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
(Skill of Attraction)

Top Articles

Latest Posts

Article information

Author: Wyatt Volkman LLD

Last Updated: 11/21/2022

Views: 5925

Rating: 4.6 / 5 (46 voted)

Reviews: 93% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Wyatt Volkman LLD

Birthday: 1992-02-16

Address: Suite 851 78549 Lubowitz Well, Wardside, TX 98080-8615

Phone: +67618977178100

Job: Manufacturing Director

Hobby: Running, Mountaineering, Inline skating, Writing, Baton twirling, Computer programming, Stone skipping

Introduction: My name is Wyatt Volkman LLD, I am a handsome, rich, comfortable, lively, zealous, graceful, gifted person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.